2002
The First Love
2003
The Smart One, The Creepy Actor*, The Older Unitarian*, The Passive Dancer
2004
The HS Best Friend, The Camp Counselor, The Goth One, The Cheater, The College Best Friend
2005
The Passionate Artist, The One Night Stand
2006
The Biology Student*, The Fuck Buddy
2007
The Clandestine Crush, The OTHER Friend, The Nice Guy
2008
The Comedian, The Marine, The Woman*, The Engineer
2009
The Coworker, The Sailor, The Husband
2010
2011
The Sergeant, The Soldier
Friday, November 30, 2007
When your boyfriend once had an affair
It's going to be interesting. Yes, I can say that with certainty. So, here's the deal. Over a year ago, before we met, my current boyfriend, got tangled up in an affair. A real, "she's married" kind of affair. And it's not a pretty story. She was miserable in her marriage, she found out she couldn't ever have kids, my boyfriend reminded her of the ex (from before her marriage) who she never quite forgot, etc. My boyfriend, on his part, had just found out that his ex (one mentioned in my earlier post) was dating a new guy. He, still being hung up on her back then (this is before we'd even met) was in a bad place. So, married lady makes move on distraught single guy, and poof! Affair begins...
And then gets weird. After spending clandestine time together twice, she confesses her love for him. He feels awkward. She then becomes obsessive. She starts to tell him that she's going to tell her husband who will more-than-likely kick his ass over it. He starts to feel panicky, but is also lonely and confused. Eventually, the pressure gets to him (about a month, month & a half in) and he breaks it off. Understandably, in my opinion.
Enter craziness. She calls, messages, emails, etc. And does so excessively. She is neurotic at this point. He cuts off all contact. This is new for him. He's had two relationships in his life before this little debacle and one was in his teens, the other was long term. He is unprepared for this. He feels guilty, but cannot handle the stress of being involved, and doesn't really want to be involved with her.
Cut to today. He has not seen her since he ended it. She has been in counseling and on meds. She has worked it out with her husband. He is over his ex and with me. And tonight, we're attending a party at his best friends' home and this woman will be there.
Here's what I'm curious about. When my boyfriend and I met, he was so shy and timid. He was shaking all over when he wanted to kiss me the first time. He was certainly shy about having sex for the first time. I simply cannot picture the person that I know and adore being able to get involved in an affair. Really. He must have been so messed up about his ex, which is a weird thought for me. I know he's over her now. I just am interested to see what kind of woman seduced him. So odd to think about. I'm sure it will be a bit awkward. I'm sure it will not go as I imagine.
And then gets weird. After spending clandestine time together twice, she confesses her love for him. He feels awkward. She then becomes obsessive. She starts to tell him that she's going to tell her husband who will more-than-likely kick his ass over it. He starts to feel panicky, but is also lonely and confused. Eventually, the pressure gets to him (about a month, month & a half in) and he breaks it off. Understandably, in my opinion.
Enter craziness. She calls, messages, emails, etc. And does so excessively. She is neurotic at this point. He cuts off all contact. This is new for him. He's had two relationships in his life before this little debacle and one was in his teens, the other was long term. He is unprepared for this. He feels guilty, but cannot handle the stress of being involved, and doesn't really want to be involved with her.
Cut to today. He has not seen her since he ended it. She has been in counseling and on meds. She has worked it out with her husband. He is over his ex and with me. And tonight, we're attending a party at his best friends' home and this woman will be there.
Here's what I'm curious about. When my boyfriend and I met, he was so shy and timid. He was shaking all over when he wanted to kiss me the first time. He was certainly shy about having sex for the first time. I simply cannot picture the person that I know and adore being able to get involved in an affair. Really. He must have been so messed up about his ex, which is a weird thought for me. I know he's over her now. I just am interested to see what kind of woman seduced him. So odd to think about. I'm sure it will be a bit awkward. I'm sure it will not go as I imagine.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Curled up, warm fuzzies
I am not a warm fuzzy person by nature. No, indeed, I am not. In fact, I would consider myself rather cold and somewhat removed from people I meet. I distain a lot of people (closet elitist) and have a hard time reigning in my distain when those people are foolish.
Then, I curl up in bed with my boyfriend and turn into a warm fuzzy pile of emotion. I want to be soft and available, and I feel his chest rise and fall while he runs his fingers through my soft hair, and I breathe. How I feel makes me want to continue falling down this rabbit hole.
Then, I curl up in bed with my boyfriend and turn into a warm fuzzy pile of emotion. I want to be soft and available, and I feel his chest rise and fall while he runs his fingers through my soft hair, and I breathe. How I feel makes me want to continue falling down this rabbit hole.
What an ex
What an ex. Really. This girl is a piece of work. When I allowed her to see my page, I had no idea who she was or how she was related to my now boyfriend. Let me tell you. She is the ex fiancee. She is now in a lesbian relationship. She e-stalks me and leaves me weird comments on my page.
Why, you might ask, why don't you just block her access? Well, it would show that it is weird to me. I'd prefer her to think that I don't care. That it really doesn't bug me. It does! Somehow, it's been ingrained in my psyche that I can't show any emotional response to the ex. She is rather crazy and I am better looking (just being honest), but somehow it weirds me out.
They were together on-and-off for 5 years. They were engaged long ago. He is clearly over her, but I still feel that it's an uncomfortable situation to have someone be so involved in your life who your partner was once so involved with. Too much overlap from the past.
I mean, his friends can't stand her. They love me. They all tell me how controlling she was and how she is so jealous of me. But I don't care. I'd like her to stop commenting on my page, sending me Happy Birthday notes, and writing to my boyfriend to tell him that I'm skinnier and prettier than her. Stop digging for compliments, honey. Have some self respect, I'd like to tell her. I can't though. I have to go on telling him and everyone else that it doesn't bother me. That I just don't care.<
What an ex.
Why, you might ask, why don't you just block her access? Well, it would show that it is weird to me. I'd prefer her to think that I don't care. That it really doesn't bug me. It does! Somehow, it's been ingrained in my psyche that I can't show any emotional response to the ex. She is rather crazy and I am better looking (just being honest), but somehow it weirds me out.
They were together on-and-off for 5 years. They were engaged long ago. He is clearly over her, but I still feel that it's an uncomfortable situation to have someone be so involved in your life who your partner was once so involved with. Too much overlap from the past.
I mean, his friends can't stand her. They love me. They all tell me how controlling she was and how she is so jealous of me. But I don't care. I'd like her to stop commenting on my page, sending me Happy Birthday notes, and writing to my boyfriend to tell him that I'm skinnier and prettier than her. Stop digging for compliments, honey. Have some self respect, I'd like to tell her. I can't though. I have to go on telling him and everyone else that it doesn't bother me. That I just don't care.<
What an ex.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)