Here goes... On Halloween, I made friends with this attractive dancer guy who I didn’t see again until I went out dancing last week. My roommate was with me of course, and he invited me to go do karaoke with some other dancers. I brought the roommie along, of course. It was fun and they have a lot in common about music, but he and I were definitely flirting. He ended up hanging out until like 3 am. During the evening, he got my roommate's number because I was driving and he wanted to be able to call if he got separated.
So, then, Saturday night, roommate and I went to a blues party. I drank a fair amount and was rather drunk during the party. I was being my normal self, dancing with lots of people, having a good time, and ended up making out with the guy in a hallway. He was definitely drunk too, and my roommate apparently saw us kissing, which she mentioned to me on the ride home. Now, that’s all fine and fun, but yesterday, the guy (who also spent quite a while talking/dancing with my roommie at the party) asked her to hang out after she got off work, and she agreed.
Now, don’t you think that’s a little weird? I mean, she SEES me making out with him and the next day, goes out with him… She claimed that they were just “hanging out” but come on. A guy calls and asks you to hang out one-on-one if he likes you. Now, I wasn’t totally surprised because I saw the interest when he started talking with her more about music. BUT if the situation had been reversed, Alissa would have been unbelievably pissed off at me. I mean, she would have been SO hurt and mad. Yet, when it’s her getting the attention and her getting the phone call, she’s immediately playing like she’s unaware of what the situation really is about. I told her that I’m not mad, which I’m not, it’s more annoyed than angry.
Part of me feels like this is payback. Freshman year of college, she had a major crush on a mutual friend of ours, which I didn’t really know too much about because she and I weren’t super close friends then. I ended up making out with him a few times at parties at the start of the next year, which apparently really upset her, even though she knew that he didn’t like her back. Then, well, she was involved with this OTHER mutual friend, who she was secretly in love with, but who was not interested in having a relationship with her. A year or so later, he was interested in me and even though I didn’t sleep with him, the roommate knew we had a little dalliance and was hurt by it. So, I feel like maybe the passive-aggressive part of her is secretly or even subconsciously getting payback. And so, in that sense, I don’t fault her because I did fuck up in the past.
And to be honest, it kind of bruises my ego as well, I’ll admit. Your roommate gets called by the guy you made out with?? Really?? Am I that uninteresting?! Here’s the thing, I feel more frustrated with myself for making out with him after I’d been drinking than about the fact that he called her. I feel like sometimes I sell myself short when I act like that. Also, I guess I realize that some guys think that her cute, little, innocent act is more appealing than the more forward, intense (and occasionally drunk) personality that I have, and in cases like this, I feel like I should be more controlled and less drunkenly rambunctious.
So, last night, after they hung out doing whatever, they came back to our apartment to play the Wii. It was already 11 pm so I needed to get sleep. So, I pulled my hair into a cute headband, slipped on PJ shorts that I know look good, and your fav blue sweatshirt with no bra, zipped down a little bit low… And pranced out in the living room to give him a hug (and a chance to check out my ass, which he did) and the pranced off to bed like everything was just fine. It was shallow and terrible, but I guess I was looking for a way to salvage a little bit of my ego...
