A friend posed the question to me, "what do you do when you cannot find middle ground between two conflicting viewpoints because one side is so irrational that there isn't a way to reconcile the two sides?" One of her examples is Iran (or Korea) vs the US...
The problem with irrational behaviors and beliefs are that they are fundamentally 'unopen' to rational response.
I mean, if you consider the case of Iran and denying the Holocaust. It is one of the most documented events in history and yet there are people like Ahmadinejad who virulently deny that it happened – crazy!?
Or if you take an example close to home – the batshit crazy Southern Baptists. You can’t reason with people like that...
You can 'rationally' state their motivations – i.e. spawn hatred against the Jews or that black people are inferior – but that doesn’t mean that you can provide a solution that suits both parties because solutions can’t serve irrational and rational goals at the same time. PLUS, to make matters more difficult, because you come from a rational viewpoint, your attempt to stand on middle ground and ‘understand’ their viewpoint is basically impossible.
Talk about your BIG questions in life. If I had the answer to this question, I would be the Nobel Peace Prize Winner and a whole lot richer...
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
I need to learn how to be catty...
I recently attended a dance event and I had a drama-filled moment straight out of "Mean Girls."
So, my roommate has been mixed up in a love triangle with a guy (her half Indian-half Black lover) who is also involved with a slutty dancer. Well, recently, the guy has almost exclusively spent his time with my roommate and has started to avoid Slutty at dance events... to a degree.
Now, I have to give you background on this girl so you get the full picture. She is the ULTIMATE slutty bitch. She pretends she doesn't know you to make herself feel cool (even if she has met you a dozen times), she talks loudly about her sexual exploits and occasionally strips at blues parties (risque even for a slutty scene) and is slender with emo-looking long, black hair and pale skin. She loves attention and mostly hates girls who aren't her puppies (TOTAL Regina George without being blond)
Alright, so we're at the Friday night late night dance and I'm talking to my boyfriend's roommate. Slutty slides up to her (the boyfriend's roommate) purposely with her back away from me to cut me out of the conversation I was having. She sort of turns when the roommate introduces me (side note: she knows who I am perfectly well), and it goes like this...
Me (loudly) "oh no, you know me, I'm [my roommate's name here]'s roommate."
Her (distainful look) "who?"
Me (evil glint in my eye) "You know, [name], [the guy]'s main lady"
Her (pissy look) "oh, I don't pay ATTENTION to people like that"
My boyfriend's roomie (totally oblivious, as always) "[me] has her own brown man"
(seriously, who says that?! My boyfriend is half Asian)
Me "Oh, yes, I'm dating [him]"
Her (catty look) "ooooooooooh, I knoow him (dramatic pause) INtimately"
ACK!!!!!!!!!!!! I know she's fucked everyone in the dance scene, but AAAAAAACK! I just smiled and then she wandered away. But man I was PISSED! My boyfriend has always been very clear that he thinks she is a manipulative slut and I find out (from her!) that he has banged her! EW!
I talked to him about it (apparently it was 4 years ago when he was super drunk and didn't know who she was). After I explained what Slutty had said to me, he got super upset at her for pulling something like that and now refuses to speak to her even more pointedly than he had before this. lol.
My knew-jerk response to it is revulsion combined with annoyance that he didn't tell me first, but then again, it's not like I haven't slept with guys who I wouldn't want other people to know about. ;-)
As a side note, when I saw her the next night, I just gave her a nice smile and walked past, and did she look angry. mahahahahah. It was worth it to get my jab in for my roommate ;-)
Point of story... It was THE cattiest experience of my life and it taught me that I need more snappy comebacks (ha).
So, my roommate has been mixed up in a love triangle with a guy (her half Indian-half Black lover) who is also involved with a slutty dancer. Well, recently, the guy has almost exclusively spent his time with my roommate and has started to avoid Slutty at dance events... to a degree.
Now, I have to give you background on this girl so you get the full picture. She is the ULTIMATE slutty bitch. She pretends she doesn't know you to make herself feel cool (even if she has met you a dozen times), she talks loudly about her sexual exploits and occasionally strips at blues parties (risque even for a slutty scene) and is slender with emo-looking long, black hair and pale skin. She loves attention and mostly hates girls who aren't her puppies (TOTAL Regina George without being blond)
Alright, so we're at the Friday night late night dance and I'm talking to my boyfriend's roommate. Slutty slides up to her (the boyfriend's roommate) purposely with her back away from me to cut me out of the conversation I was having. She sort of turns when the roommate introduces me (side note: she knows who I am perfectly well), and it goes like this...
Me (loudly) "oh no, you know me, I'm [my roommate's name here]'s roommate."
Her (distainful look) "who?"
Me (evil glint in my eye) "You know, [name], [the guy]'s main lady"
Her (pissy look) "oh, I don't pay ATTENTION to people like that"
My boyfriend's roomie (totally oblivious, as always) "[me] has her own brown man"
(seriously, who says that?! My boyfriend is half Asian)
Me "Oh, yes, I'm dating [him]"
Her (catty look) "ooooooooooh, I knoow him (dramatic pause) INtimately"
ACK!!!!!!!!!!!! I know she's fucked everyone in the dance scene, but AAAAAAACK! I just smiled and then she wandered away. But man I was PISSED! My boyfriend has always been very clear that he thinks she is a manipulative slut and I find out (from her!) that he has banged her! EW!
I talked to him about it (apparently it was 4 years ago when he was super drunk and didn't know who she was). After I explained what Slutty had said to me, he got super upset at her for pulling something like that and now refuses to speak to her even more pointedly than he had before this. lol.
My knew-jerk response to it is revulsion combined with annoyance that he didn't tell me first, but then again, it's not like I haven't slept with guys who I wouldn't want other people to know about. ;-)
As a side note, when I saw her the next night, I just gave her a nice smile and walked past, and did she look angry. mahahahahah. It was worth it to get my jab in for my roommate ;-)
Point of story... It was THE cattiest experience of my life and it taught me that I need more snappy comebacks (ha).
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Friendship is a funny thing...
Well, I have not written in a while, but here I go again… I have officially gone overboard regarding the ex-boyfriend-artist and am writing yet an(other) blog about it. I guess, as usual, I'm over thinking and thus emoting (via the cold, heartless medium of the web)
I know that things got a bit out-of-line between us last year (an emotional affair is, after all, generally considered worse than a physical one) and that that could be why he has scaled back on our friendship (he stopped talking to me, yet again, when I left for Europe)
or it could be that I have a boyfriend
or that he got tired of my friendship
or that he felt awkward
And this is what has always been so odd for me in regards to his and my interactions over the past 3 and 1/2 years (I'm counting that as since the first time that we broke up, ha). It drives me INSANE that there is hardly ever a good answer for why he stops talking to me or why he doesn’t respond for months and then suddenly changes his mind. And while I appreciate (and frankly, admire) his ability to drop off the face of the Earth, it still sits uncomfortably with me (aka makes me go slightly crazy thinking it over, sigh).
It's just that I'm such a different type of communicator... I can’t just stop talking to someone. It’s nearly impossible. I go on and on and on and babble and explain and meander through ideas, but in the end, when he pulls back, it's a mystery. Now, it’s not like I’m asking for some deep, spiritual insight into the inner-workings of his "am I talking to her or not" psyche, but it IS a little over-the-top. And yes, I know that his whole ‘artist’ persona is over-the-top so to speak, but after finally watching 'Vicky Christina Barcelona' combined with several experiences of late, I have decided that I just don't care.
Here's what I know - I thoroughly enjoy being in conversation with him, I find him stimulating and intriguing, I know that he and I both need to be with someone OTHER than each other, and I miss it when he’s not somewhere in the framework of my life.
Is that so wrong?
Here is my thought... We're both in relationships, which is great. Can’t we still be friends and have interesting, thought-provoking conversations without straying into dangerous territory?! If however, he is tired of my friendship and doesn’t find me interesting at this time, I will have to just accept that.
I guess that I realized that I like having people in my life who love art and ideas and creativity, and those people don't come along very often. To be cliché, life is too short to not experience it to its fullest.
I know that things got a bit out-of-line between us last year (an emotional affair is, after all, generally considered worse than a physical one) and that that could be why he has scaled back on our friendship (he stopped talking to me, yet again, when I left for Europe)
or it could be that I have a boyfriend
or that he got tired of my friendship
or that he felt awkward
And this is what has always been so odd for me in regards to his and my interactions over the past 3 and 1/2 years (I'm counting that as since the first time that we broke up, ha). It drives me INSANE that there is hardly ever a good answer for why he stops talking to me or why he doesn’t respond for months and then suddenly changes his mind. And while I appreciate (and frankly, admire) his ability to drop off the face of the Earth, it still sits uncomfortably with me (aka makes me go slightly crazy thinking it over, sigh).
It's just that I'm such a different type of communicator... I can’t just stop talking to someone. It’s nearly impossible. I go on and on and on and babble and explain and meander through ideas, but in the end, when he pulls back, it's a mystery. Now, it’s not like I’m asking for some deep, spiritual insight into the inner-workings of his "am I talking to her or not" psyche, but it IS a little over-the-top. And yes, I know that his whole ‘artist’ persona is over-the-top so to speak, but after finally watching 'Vicky Christina Barcelona' combined with several experiences of late, I have decided that I just don't care.
Here's what I know - I thoroughly enjoy being in conversation with him, I find him stimulating and intriguing, I know that he and I both need to be with someone OTHER than each other, and I miss it when he’s not somewhere in the framework of my life.
Is that so wrong?
Here is my thought... We're both in relationships, which is great. Can’t we still be friends and have interesting, thought-provoking conversations without straying into dangerous territory?! If however, he is tired of my friendship and doesn’t find me interesting at this time, I will have to just accept that.
I guess that I realized that I like having people in my life who love art and ideas and creativity, and those people don't come along very often. To be cliché, life is too short to not experience it to its fullest.
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